經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第11章 Part 1

A loud clatter of gunk music flooded through the Heart of Gold cabin as Zaphod searched the sub-etha radio wavebands for news of himself. The machine was rather difficult to operate. For years radios had been operated by means of pressing buttons and turning dials; then as the technology became more sophisticated the controls were made touch-sensitive — you merely had to brush the panels with your fingers; now all you had to do was wave your hand in the general direction of the components and hope. It saved a lot of muscular expenditure of course, but meant that you had to sit infuriatingly still if you wanted to keep listening to the same programme.
Zaphod waved a hand and the channel switched again. More gunk music, but this time it was a background to a news announcement. The news was always heavily edited to fit the rhythms of the music.
"... and news brought to you here on the sub-etha wave band, broadcasting around the galaxy around the clock," squawked a voice, "and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere ... and to everyone else out there, the secret is to Bang the rocks together, guys. And of course, the big news story tonight is the sensational theft of the new Improbability Drive prototype ship by none other than Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox. And the question everyone's asking is ... has the big Z finally flipped? Beeblebrox, the man who invented the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, ex-confidence trickster, once described by Eccentrica Gallumbits as the Best Bang since the Big One, and recently voted the Wort Dressed Sentinent Being in the Known Universe for the seventh time ... has he got an answer this time? We asked his private brain care specialist Gag Halfrunt ..." The music swirled and dived for a moment. Another voice broke in, presumably Halfrunt. He said: "Vell, Zaphod's jist zis guy you know?"but got no further because an electric pencil flew across the cabin and through the radio's on/off sensitive airspace. Zaphod turned and glared at Trillian — she had thrown the pencil.
"Hey," he said, what do you do that for?"
Trillian was tapping her fingers on a screenful of figures.
"I've just thought of something," she said.

一陣響亮的過場音樂聲迴盪在黃金之心號的船艙內，這是贊福德在調節亞以太廣播的波段，以搜索關於自己的新聞。這臺儀器相當難以操作。在很長一段時期內，廣播都是通過按按鈕和擰旋鈕的辦法來調節的。隨着技術變得越來越精巧，控制器變成了觸摸感應式，你只需要用手指輕拂一下控制面板就行了。而到了今天，你所要做的僅僅是朝着元件的大致方向揮一下手，頭腦裏起一個意念就行。這樣當然可以節省不少肌肉的能量消耗，但同時也意味着如果你想要連續聽一個節目的話，就得一動不動地坐在那兒，直到你變得焦躁不安。
贊福德揮了一下手，‘又換了一個頻道。傳來更多的音樂聲，不過這次是一條新聞公告的背景音樂。這些新聞總是編輯得能夠配合這些音樂的節奏。
“……這裏是亞以太波段帶給你的新聞報道，銀河系整點播報。”一個刺耳的聲音說，“我們要向一切地方的所有智慧生命問聲好……當然，今晚的重大新聞無疑是令人震驚的新型非概率驅動原型飛船失竊事件。實施偷竊的不是別人，正是銀河系總統贊福德·畢博布魯克斯。所有人都在問同一個問題……大讚最終逃掉了嗎？畢博布魯克斯，這個一手製造了這件轟動整個銀河系的大案的人，一個過於自信的騙子，一度被描述爲最怪異的人，最近剛剛第七次被評爲已知宇宙中穿着最缺乏品位的人……他這次會落入法網嗎？我們採訪了他的私人腦保健醫生伽葛。哈爾佛蘭特……”音樂沉寂了一會兒，然後另一個聲音插了進來，大概就是哈爾佛蘭特吧。他說：“喔，贊福德究竟是個怎樣的傢伙，你知道嗎？”隨即卻沒了下文，因爲一枝電子鉛筆從空中劃過，正好穿過了廣播的開關感應區域。贊福德轉過身來，望着崔莉恩——那枝鉛筆是她扔的。
“哎，”他說，“你這是幹什麼？”
崔莉恩用手指敲擊着一塊全是數字的屏幕。
“我剛剛想起一件事。”她說。