經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第5章 Part 4

"Excuse me?" said Arthur. "Are you trying to tell me that we just stuck out our thumbs and some green bug-eyed monster stuck his head out and said, Hi fellas, hop right in. I can take you as far as the Basingstoke roundabout?"
"Well," said Ford, "the Thumb's an electronic sub-etha signalling device, the roundabout's at Barnard's Star six light years away, but otherwise, that's more or less right."
"And the bug-eyed monster?"
"Is green, yes."
"Fine," said Arthur, "when can I get home?"
"You can't," said Ford Prefect, and found the light switch.
"Shade your eyes ..." he said, and turned it on.
Even Ford was surprised.
"Good grief," said Arthur, "is this really the interior of a flying saucer?"
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz heaved his unpleasant green body round the control bridge. He always felt vaguely irritable after demolishing populated planets. He wished that someone would come and tell him that it was all wrong so that he could shout at them and feel better. He flopped as heavily as he could on to his control seat in the hope that it would break and give him something to be genuinely angry about, but it only gave a complaining sort of creak.
"Go away!" he shouted at a young Vogon guard who entered the bridge at that moment. The guard vanished immediately, feeling rather relieved. He was glad it wouldn't now be him who delivered the report they'd just received. The report was an official release which said that a wonderful new form of spaceship drive was at this moment being unveiled at a government research base on Damogran which would henceforth make all hyperspatial express routes unnecessary.
Another door slid open, but this time the Vogon captain didn't shout because it was the door from the galley quarters where the Dentrassis prepared his meals. A meal would be most welcome.

“什麼？”阿瑟說。“難道你是要告訴我，我們剛纔伸出我們的大拇指，而一個長着蟲眼睛的綠色怪物則探出頭來，對我們說‘嗨，夥計，跳上來吧，我可以帶你們去看旋轉木馬’？”
“嗯，怎麼說呢，”福特說，“你所謂的‘大拇指’實際上是一套亞以太信號收發設備，而‘旋轉木馬’則是6光年以外的巴納德星。不過，從某種角度來看，你說的差不多也算對吧。”
“還有長着蟲眼睛的怪物呢？”
“沒錯，是綠色的。”
“好吧，”阿瑟說，“我什麼時候能回家呢？”
“你不能。”福特·普里弗克特說，同時找到了燈的開關。
“閉上眼睛……”他說着打開燈。
接下來的事甚至讓福特也感到吃驚。
“天啊，”阿瑟說，“這真的是一架飛碟的內部嗎？”
沃貢·傑爾茲綠色的身影出現在飛船的控制橋上。在毀滅了有人居住的星球之後，他通常總會感到一種莫名的暴躁。這個時候，他總是希望有什麼人跑到他跟前來，指責他所做的一切都是錯誤的，然後他就可以一槍崩了這傢伙，這樣他會感覺好點兒。他重重地一屁股硒進他的座椅，很希望這玩意兒會壞掉，這樣就給他提供了一個大發雷霆的藉口，只可惜座椅只是訴苦似的發出吱吱聲。
“滾開！”他衝着一個恰好在此時進到控制橋的年輕沃貢侍衛吼道。這個侍衛頃刻間就消失了，倒像是得到了赦免一樣，他很高興接下來彙報他們剛剛接收到的報告的人不再是自己了。這份報告是一份官方文件，通知說一種新型飛船已經在達蒙葛蘭上的一個政府研究基地向外界進行了展示，這一成果使得所有的超空間快速通道變得不再需要了。
又有一扇門被推開了，不過這次沃貢艦長沒有吼叫，因爲這扇門足通向丹特拉斯人爲他準備午餐的廚房間的。一頓美味的午餐在這個時候也許是最受歡迎的了。