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狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第53章Part3

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'Its matter was not new to me, but was presented in a new aspect. It shook me in my habit - the habit of nine-tenths of the world - of believing that all was right about me, because I was used to it,' said their visitor; 'and induced me to recall the history of the two brothers, and to ponder on it. I think it was almost the first time in my life when I fell into this train of reflection - how will many things that are familiar, and quite matters of course to us now, look, when we come to see them from that new and distant point of view which we must all take up, one day or other? I was something less good-natured, as the phrase goes, after that morning, less easy and complacent altogether.'
He sat for a minute or so, drumming with one hand on the table; and resumed in a hurry, as if he were anxious to get rid of his confession.
'Before I knew what to do, or whether I could do anything, there was a second conversation between the same two brothers, in which their sister was mentioned. I had no scruples of conscience in suffering all the waifs and strays of that conversation to float to me as freely as they would. I considered them mine by right. After that, I came here to see the sister for myself. The first time I stopped at the garden gate, I made a pretext of inquiring into the character of a poor neighbour; but I wandered out of that tract, and I think Miss Harriet mistrusted me. The second time I asked leave to come in; came in; and said what I wished to say. Your sister showed me reasons which I dared not dispute, for receiving no assistance from me then; but I established a means of communication between us, which remained unbroken until within these few days, when I was prevented, by important matters that have lately devolved upon me, from maintaining them'
'How little I have suspected this,' said John Carker, 'when I have seen you every day, Sir! If Harriet could have guessed your name - '
'Why, to tell you the truth, John,' interposed the visitor, 'I kept it to myself for two reasons. I don't know that the first might have been binding alone; but one has no business to take credit for good intentions, and I made up my mind, at all events, not to disclose myself until I should be able to do you some real service or other. My second reason was, that I always hoped there might be some lingering possibility of your brother's relenting towards you both; and in that case, I felt that where there was the chance of a man of his suspicious, watchful character, discovering that you had been secretly befriended by me, there was the chance of a new and fatal cause of division. I resolved, to be sure, at the risk of turning his displeasure against myself - which would have been no matter - to watch my opportunity of serving you with the head of the House; but the distractions of death, courtship, marriage, and domestic unhappiness, have left us no head but your brother for this long, long time. And it would have been better for us,' said the visitor, dropping his voice, 'to have been a lifeless trunk.'
He seemed conscious that these latter words had escaped hIm against his will, and stretching out a hand to the brother, and a hand to the sister, continued: 'All I could desire to say, and more, I have now said. All I mean goes beyond words, as I hope you understand and believe. The time has come, John - though most unfortunately and unhappily come - when I may help you without interfering with that redeeming struggle, which has lasted through so many years; since you were discharged from it today by no act of your own. It is late; I need say no more to-night. You will guard the treasure you have here, without advice or reminder from me.'
With these words he rose to go.
'But go you first, John,' he said goodhumouredly, 'with a light, without saying what you want to say, whatever that maybe;' John Carker's heart was full, and he would have relieved it in speech,' if he could; 'and let me have a word with your sister. We have talked alone before, and in this room too; though it looks more natural with you here.'
Following him out with his eyes, he turned kindly to Harriet, and said in a lower voice, and with an altered and graver manner:
'You wish to ask me something of the man whose sister it is your misfortune to be.'
'I dread to ask,' said Harriet.
'You have looked so earnestly at me more than once,' rejoined the visitor, 'that I think I can divine your question. Has he taken money? Is it that?'
'Yes.'
'He has not.'
'I thank Heaven!' said Harriet. 'For the sake of John.'
'That he has abused his trust in many ways,' said Mr Morfin; 'that he has oftener dealt and speculated to advantage for himself, than for the House he represented; that he has led the House on, to prodigious ventures, often resulting in enormous losses; that he has always pampered the vanity and ambition of his employer, when it was his duty to have held them in check, and shown, as it was in his power to do, to what they tended here or there; will not, perhaps, surprise you now. Undertakings have been entered on, to swell the reputation of the House for vast resources, and to exhibit it in magnificent contrast to other merchants' Houses, of which it requires a steady head to contemplate the possibly - a few disastrous changes of affairs might render them the probably - ruinous consequences. In the midst of the many transactions of the House, in most parts of the world: a great labyrinth of which only he has held the clue: he has had the opportunity, and he seems to have used it, of keeping the various results afloat, when ascertained, and substituting estimates and generalities for facts. But latterly - you follow me, Miss Harriet?'
'Perfectly, perfectly,' she answered, with her frightened face fixed on his. 'Pray tell me all the worst at once.

狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第53章Part3

“這次談到的問題對我並不新鮮,但它從一個新的角度向我顯示出來。我本來相信我周圍的一切都是完好無缺的,因爲我對它已經習慣了--世界上十分之九的居民都有這樣的習慣--,這次談話動搖了我的這個習慣,”客人說道,”並引起我回憶兄弟兩人的歷史,對它進行了思考。我想這幾乎是我生平第一次沿着這樣的思路去考慮問題:許多我們現在司空見慣、習以爲常的事物,當我們從那個我們早晚有一天一定都會採取的新的、不同的觀點去看的時候,它們將會顯示出什麼樣子呢?從那天上午以後,我就像人們常說的那樣,變得脾氣不太好,不太順從,不太自滿自足了。”
他沉默了一分鐘左右,同時用一隻手在桌子上叮叮鼕鼕地敲擊着,然後又趕快繼續說下去,彷彿急着想結束他的自白似的。
“在我知道我該做些什麼事情或我能做些什麼事情之前,這兩兄弟又進行了第二次談話;在這次談話中提到了他們的姐姐。我聽憑這次談話的片言隻語自由地飄入我的耳朵,良心上沒有任何不安。我認爲這是我的權利。在這之後,我到這裏來,想親眼見一見姐姐。第一次我在花園門口停下來,假裝打聽你們一位可憐的鄰人的名聲,可是我離開了,我覺得哈里特小姐不相信我。第二次,我請求允許我走進屋子;進來以後,我說了我想要說的話。您姐姐向我說明了爲什麼她當時拒絕接受我的幫助的原因,那是我不敢和她爭辯的;但是我建立了我們兩人交際的一個方式,它從不間斷地一直持續下來,直到這幾天我因爲忙於最近移交給我的重要事情,纔不得不中斷。”
“先生,我每天跟您見面,卻一點也沒有猜疑到這一點!”約翰?卡克說道,”如果哈里特能猜測到您的姓名的話--”
“老實告訴您吧,約翰,”客人打斷他的話,說道,”我沒有說出我的姓名,有兩個原因。我不知道單有第一個原因是不是充分;一個人沒有權利由於有善良的意圖就接受別人的感謝,因此我決定在我能向你們提供真正的幫助之前,無論如何也不說出我的姓名。我的第二個原因是,我總還抱着微弱的希望:你們的弟弟對你們兩人也許還可能會比以前寬厚一些;在這樣的情況下,如果這位生性多疑的、小心戒備的人發現我祕密地親近你們,這就有可能成爲你們破裂的一個新的、嚴重的根由。真的,我曾經決定不顧他會對我不滿的風險(這算不了什麼),等待合適的機會,在公司老闆面前爲您陳情請願。可是由於發生了死亡、求婚、結婚、不和的家庭生活等這一系列事件的結果,在這長長的時間中,我們公司的老闆實際上是你們的弟弟;”這時客人壓低了,說道,”如果用一株乾枯的樹幹來代替他的話,那麼這對我們來說反倒會好一些。”
他似乎意識到,最後這句話是違反他的意願脫口說出的,就伸出一隻手給弟弟,另一隻手給姐姐,繼續說道:“現在我已說出了所有我想要說的話,甚至還超過了。我希望你們理解並相信,我的用意不是言語所能表達的。現在我可以幫助您,而不會妨礙您進行贖罪的努力了(您這種努力已持續進行了這麼多年),”因爲您今天不是由於您自己的行爲而被解除職務的,因此我可以幫助您的這個時間已經來到了,約翰,雖然它是極爲不幸、極爲悲痛地來到的。現在時間已經晚了,今天夜裏我不用再說什麼了。不需要我勸告或提醒,您將會保護好這裏交給您的珍寶。”
他說完這些話之後,站起身來,準備離開。
“可是約翰,您拿着蠟燭在前面走,”他愉快地說道,”不論您想說什麼,都別說了。”約翰?卡克心頭充滿了千言萬語,如果可能的話,他真想把它們傾吐出來,使他心情輕鬆一些;”讓我再跟您姐姐說一句話。我們以前曾經單獨說過話,而且也是在這個房間;雖然現在有您在這裏,顯得更爲自然。”
他目送着約翰?卡克出去,一邊親切地轉向哈里特,用改變了的、更爲莊嚴的態度,低聲說道:
“您希望向我問一下您不幸成爲他姐姐的那個人的情況吧?”
“我怕問,”哈里特說道。
“您不止一次那麼嚴肅地望着我,”客人說道,”因此我想我能猜出您的問題。您想問:他有沒有竊取公司的錢,是不是?”
“是的。”
“他沒有。”
“謝謝上天!”哈里特說道,”爲了約翰的緣故。”
“可是他百般濫用對他的信任,”莫芬先生說道,”他時常爲了自己的利益,而不是爲了他所代表的公司的利益而經營買賣和投機;他讓公司捲入極爲冒險的業務,結果時常造成巨大的虧損;他有責任抑制他的老闆的虛榮心與野心,並向他指出它們會導致什麼樣的後果(這是在他的職權範圍內可以做到的事),可是這時他卻反而時常縱容它們;所有這些事情現在可能不會使您感到驚奇。公司舉辦了各種企業來擴大它財力雄厚的聲譽,並顯示它和其他商業公司相比的巨大優越地位;需要有一個沉着冷靜的頭腦來注視可能發生的毀滅性後果(如果在公司業務中發生了一些災難性的變化,這就會使這種後果成爲可能)。公司經營着涉及世界上大部分地區的許多交易,他是其中的中心人物,只有他一個人掌握着這些錯綜複雜的業務的線索,因此他可能(他似乎也利用了這種可能)把已經查明的各種結果隱瞞住,而以各種估計和概括來代替事實。可是近來--您能聽謹我的話嗎,哈里特小姐?”
“完全聽得謹,完全聽得懂,”她把受驚的臉孔一動不動地對着他,回答道,”請立刻把最壞的事情告訴我。”