狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第45章Part4

'Can Mrs Dombey believe,' said Carker, coming nearer, 'that I would return to it in the face of her prohibition? Is it possible that Mrs Dombey, having no regard to my unfortunate position, is so determined to consider me inseparable from my instructor as to do me great and wilful injustice?'
'Sir,' returned Edith, bending her dark gaze full upon him, and speaking with a rising passion that inflated her proud nostril and her swelling neck, and stirred the delicate white down upon a robe she wore, thrown loosely over shoulders that could hear its snowy neighbourhood. 'Why do you present yourself to me, as you have done, and speak to me of love and duty to my husband, and pretend to think that I am happily married, and that I honour him? How dare you venture so to affront me, when you know - I do not know better, Sir: I have seen it in your every glance, and heard it in your every word - that in place of affection between us there is aversion and contempt, and that I despise him hardly less than I despise myself for being his! Injustice! If I had done justice to the torment you have made me feel, and to my sense of the insult you have put upon me, I should have slain you!'
She had asked him why he did this. Had she not been blinded by her pride and wrath, and self-humiliation, - which she was, fiercely as she bent her gaze upon him, - she would have seen the answer in his face. To bring her to this declaration.
She saw it not, and cared not whether it was there or no. She saw only the indignities and struggles she had undergone and had to undergo, and was writhing under them. As she sat looking fixedly at them, rather than at him, she plucked the feathers from a pinion of some rare and beautiful bird, which hung from her wrist by a golden thread, to serve her as a fan, and rained them on the ground.
He did not shrink beneath her gaze, but stood, until such outward signs of her anger as had escaped her control subsided, with the air of a man who had his sufficient reply in reserve and would presently deliver it. And he then spoke, looking straight into her kindling eyes.
'Madam,' he said, 'I know, and knew before to-day, that I have found no favour with you; and I knew why. Yes. I knew why. You have spoken so openly to me; I am so relieved by the possession of your confidence - '
'Confidence!' she repeated, with disdain.
He passed it over.

“難道董貝夫人認爲，我會違揹她的禁令回到那個目的上去嗎？”卡克走近一些，說道，”難道董貝夫人可能毫不考慮我的不幸處境，決心把我看成是跟向我發號施令的人不可分離的，因此故意極不公道地對待我嗎？”
“先生，”伊迪絲用陰沉的眼光注視着他，愈來愈激動地說着；她的高傲的鼻孔張開了，發漲的脖子變得更粗大了，她所穿的一件長衣上的精緻的白色的絨毛顫抖着，那件長衣不在意地披在她的肩膀上，她的肩膀是完全配得上與這白雪般的絨毛爲鄰的。”您爲什麼一直來要在我面前扮演這種角色，跟我談什麼對我丈夫的愛情與責任，還假裝出您相信我的婚姻是幸福的，我是尊敬他的？您明明知道--您並不比我不清楚，先生，我從您的每一道眼光中看到這一點，從您所說的每一個字中聽到這一點--，我們兩人之間沒有愛情，只有厭惡與輕蔑，我蔑視他的程度並不低於我由於從屬於他而蔑視我自己的程度；您明明知道這些，爲什麼卻還敢於這樣侮辱我？不公道！如果我公道地對待您使我感受到的痛苦的話，如果我公道地對待您施加給我的侮辱的話，那麼我應當把您殺了纔好！”
她問他過去爲什麼要這樣做。如果她不是被她的高傲、憤怒與自卑感矇蔽了自己的眼睛的話--儘管她惡狠狠地看着他，但是她還是被矇蔽住了--，那麼她是能從他的臉上看到答覆的。現在她表白了她的意見，要求他回答。
她看不到這個答覆，也不理會他臉部的表情中是不是有這個答覆。她只回想起她所忍受過和必須忍受的侮辱，回想起她所進行過和必須進行的思想鬥爭，並正因此而感到痛苦。當她一動不動地回想起這些感情，而好像不是注視着他的時候，她從一隻珍奇的、美麗的鳥兒的翅膀（它由一根金線懸掛在她的手腕上，作爲扇子）上拔下羽毛，讓它們像雨點般飄落在地上。
他在她的注視下沒有退縮，而是保持着一個能夠作出使人充分滿意的答覆而且可以立即作出這種答覆的人的姿態，站在那裏，直到她所無法控制的憤怒的表面跡象消退爲止。這時候，他直望着她的冒着火星的眼睛，說道：
“夫人，”他說道，”我明白，在今天以前就明白，我沒有得到您的好感，我也明白是什麼原因。是的，我明白是什麼原因。您這樣直言不諱地對我談話，我得到您的這種信任，心中覺得很寬慰--”
“信任！”她輕蔑地重複着說道。
他沒有理會這一點。