狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第40章Part5

'You know how different I am. You see me looking on you now, and you can read the warmth of passion for you that is breathing in my face.' Not a curl of the proud lip, not a flash of the dark eye, nothing but the same intent and searching look, accompanied these words. 'You know my general history. You have spoken of my mother. Do you think you can degrade, or bend or break, me to submission and obedience?'
Mr Dombey smiled, as he might have smiled at an inquiry whether he thought he could raise ten thousand pounds.
'If there is anything unusual here,' she said, with a slight motion of her hand before her brow, which did not for a moment flinch from its immovable and otherwise expressionless gaze, 'as I know there are unusual feelings here,' raising the hand she pressed upon her bosom, and heavily returning it, 'consider that there is no common meaning in the appeal I am going to make you. Yes, for I am going;' she said it as in prompt reply to something in his face; 'to appeal to you.'
Mr Dombey, with a slightly condescending bend of his chin that rustled and crackled his stiff cravat, sat down on a sofa that was near him, to hear the appeal.
'If you can believe that I am of such a nature now,' - he fancied he saw tears glistening in her eyes, and he thought, complacently, that he had forced them from her, though none fell on her cheek, and she regarded him as steadily as ever, - 'as would make what I now say almost incredible to myself, said to any man who had become my husband, but, above all, said to you, you may, perhaps, attach the greater weight to it. In the dark end to which we are tending, and may come, we shall not involve ourselves alone (that might not be much) but others.'
Others! He knew at whom that word pointed, and frowned heavily.
'I speak to you for the sake of others. Also your own sake; and for mine. Since our marriage, you have been arrogant to me; and I have repaid you in kind. You have shown to me and everyone around us, every day and hour, that you think I am graced and distinguished by your alliance. I do not think so, and have shown that too. It seems you do not understand, or (so far as your power can go) intend that each of us shall take a separate course; and you expect from me instead, a homage you will never have.'
Although her face was still the same, there was emphatic confirmation of this 'Never' in the very breath she drew.
'I feel no tenderness towards you; that you know. You would care nothing for it, if I did or could. I know as well that you feel none towards me. But we are linked together; and in the knot that ties us, as I have said, others are bound up. We must both die; we are both connected with the dead already, each by a little child. Let us forbear.'
Mr Dombey took a long respiration, as if he would have said, Oh! was this all!

“您知道我完全不是那樣。您現在看到我看着您，您可以從我臉上的表情判斷出我對您感情的熱度。”在她說這些話的時候，高傲的嘴脣沒有一點顫動，烏黑的眼睛沒有閃過一點亮光，眼光仍然像剛纔一樣專注。”您知道我的歷史的大概情況。您說到了我的母親。難道您以爲您能貶低我，壓服我，毀損我，強迫我屈服與順從嗎？”
董貝先生就像有人問他能不能籌集一萬英鎊時他會微笑的那樣，微笑了一下。
“如果這裏有什麼不尋常的東西，”她輕輕地把手在眼前揮了揮，繼續說道；她的眼睛仍然一動不動、毫無表情地注視着，沒有片刻畏縮過，”正像我知道的那樣，這裏有些不尋常的感情，”她把壓在胸前的手舉起來，又沉重地落回到胸前，”那麼就請體諒：在我將要向您提出的請求中有某些不尋常的意義。是的，”她說道，好像是在迅速回答他臉上出現的某些表情，”我將要向您提出請求。”
董貝先生帶着幾分寬厚的表情把下巴低下一點，他的硬挺的領帶因此就發出沙沙的、劈劈拍拍的聲響；在這同時，他在近旁的沙發上坐下，聽她提出的請求。
“我是這樣一種性格的人，”他覺得他看到在她眼中閃耀着淚水；雖然沒有一滴流下到臉頰上，她仍像剛纔一樣一動不動地注視着他，可是他卻得意地想到，這淚水是他使她涌出來的，”這一點連我自己也難以相信，我對成爲我丈夫的任何人（特別是對您）說了的話，我是決心照辦的；如果您現在能相信這一點，那麼您也許會對我說的話重視一些。我們正在走向一個可能來臨的結局，它不僅將影響到我們自己（這一點倒並不重要），而且還將影響到其他人。”
其他人！他知道這是指誰，於是深深地皺着眉頭。
“我是爲了其他人的緣故，也是爲了您本人和我自己的緣故，對您說話的。我們結婚以來，您傲慢地對待我，我也以同樣的態度回敬了您。您每天每個小時問我，並向我們周圍的每一個人顯示：您認爲您跟我結婚使我得到了榮譽，提高了地位。我並不認爲是這樣，而且也把這一點顯示了出來。您似乎並不瞭解或作出這樣的打算（因爲這是屬於您的權力範圍以內的事）：我們每個人應當各走各的路；相反的，您希望我對您俯首聽命，而這是您永遠也得不到的。”
雖然她臉上的表情絲毫沒有變化，可是當她換氣的時候，這”永遠”兩個字是加強了語氣、有力地說出來的。
“我對您沒有任何親切的感情；這您是知道的。如果我曾經懷有或者能夠懷有這樣的感情的話，那麼您也根本不會放在心上。我同樣清楚地知道，您對我也沒有任何這種親切的感情。可是我們結合在一起了，而且我已經說過，把我們聯繫在一起的紐結，把其他人也拴進來了。我們兩人遲早都將死去；我們兩人都早已跟死去的人聯繫着，每個人都失去了一個小男孩。讓我們相互寬容吧。”
董貝先生深深地吸了一口氣，彷彿要想說：”唔！這就是所有您要說的話嗎？”