狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第45章Part5

' - that I will make no pretence of concealment. I did see from the first, that there was no affection on your part for Mr Dombey - how could it possibly exist between such different subjects? And I have seen, since, that stronger feelings than indifference have been engendered in your breast - how could that possibly be otherwise, either, circumstanced as you have been? But was it for me to presume to avow this knowledge to you in so many words?'
'Was it for you, Sir,' she replied, 'to feign that other belief, and audaciously to thrust it on me day by day?'
'Madam, it was,' he eagerly retorted. 'If I had done less, if I had done anything but that, I should not be speaking to you thus; and I foresaw - who could better foresee, for who has had greater experience of Mr Dombey than myself? - that unless your character should prove to be as yielding and obedient as that of his first submissive lady, which I did not believe - '
A haughty smile gave him reason to observe that he might repeat this.
'I say, which I did not believe, - the time was likely to come, when such an understanding as we have now arrived at, would be serviceable.'
'Serviceable to whom, Sir?' she demanded scornfully.
'To you. I will not add to myself, as warning me to refrain even from that limited commendation of Mr Dombey, in which I can honestly indulge, in order that I may not have the misfortune of saying anything distasteful to one whose aversion and contempt,' with great expression, 'are so keen.'
'Is it honest in you, Sir,' said Edith, 'to confess to your "limited commendation," and to speak in that tone of disparagement, even of him: being his chief counsellor and flatterer!'
'Counsellor, - yes,' said Carker. 'Flatterer, - no. A little reservation I fear I must confess to. But our interest and convenience commonly oblige many of us to make professions that we cannot feel. We have partnerships of interest and convenience, friendships of interest and convenience, dealings of interest and convenience, marriages of interest and convenience, every day.'
She bit her blood-red lip; but without wavering in the dark, stern watch she kept upon him.
'Madam,' said Mr Carker, sitting down in a chair that was near her, with an air of the most profound and most considerate respect, 'why should I hesitate now, being altogether devoted to your service, to speak plainly? It was natural that a lady, endowed as you are, should think it feasible to change her husband's character in some respects, and mould him to a better form.'
'It was not natural to me, Sir,' she rejoined. 'I had never any expectation or intention of that kind.'

“--我不打算隱瞞真情。是的，我從一開始確實就看出您對董貝先生沒有愛情--它怎麼可能在兩個截然不同的人之間存在呢？我已經看到，在您心中產生了比漠不關心更爲強烈的感情--在您那樣的處境下，又怎麼可能不這樣呢？可是我用許多話冒昧地向您聲稱我知道這些情況，這是適當的嗎？”
“那麼，先生，”她回答道，”您過去假裝出相信另外一種情形的樣子，一天天厚顏無恥地故意在我面前擺弄，這是適當的嗎？”
“是的，夫人，這是適當的，”他急切地答辯道，”如果以前我不是這樣做，如果我是另外一種做法的話，那麼我就不會像現在這樣對您說了。而且我預見到--我與董貝先生相處的經驗比誰都多，有誰能比我更好地預見到呢？--除非您的性格顯得像他第一位恭順的夫人那樣百依百順、唯命是從--而這一點我是不相信的--”
一個傲慢的微笑使他明白：他可以重複這些話。
“我說，這一點我是不相信的，是的，我預見到，總有一天我們是會像現在這樣取得諒解的，而這種諒解是有益的。”
“對誰有益，先生？”她輕蔑地問道。
“對您。我不想說對我也有益，因爲我警告過我自己，千萬不要對董貝先生進行甚至是有限度的讚揚（我能正直地進行這種讚揚），以免對一位懷有如此強烈的厭惡與輕蔑情緒的人說出任何沒趣的話來。”他富於表情地說道。
“先生，”伊迪絲說道，”您是他首要的顧問和諂媚者，您現在表白您對他進行‘有限度的讚揚’，甚至使用了輕蔑的語氣，您這是正直的嗎？”
“我是他的顧問，這不錯，”卡克說道，”說我是他的謅媚者，這卻不是。也許我應當承認我不是個毫無隱諱的人。我們當中許多人爲了謀求自身的利益與方便，通常不得不表白一些我們實際並未體驗過的感情。我們每天都有謀求利益與方便的夥伴關係，謀求利益與方便的友誼，謀求利益與方便的交易，謀求利益與方便的婚姻。”
她咬住血紅的嘴脣，但依舊用陰沉的、嚴厲的眼光注視着他。
“夫人，”卡克先生在挨近她的一張椅子中坐下，用極爲謙恭、極爲關切的態度說道，”既然我是完全忠實地爲您效勞的，爲什麼現在我要遲疑不決、不痛痛快快地說呢？自然，像您這樣天賦卓越的夫人，認爲把她丈夫的性格的某些方面加以改變，改造得更好一些，是可以做得到的。”
“對我來說，這不是自然的，先生，”她回答道，”我從來不曾有過這種期望或意圖。”