雙語暢銷書《艾倫圖靈傳》第8章:面朝大海(271)

His move to Manchester, for instance, might well have held a conscious rejection of the temptation to remain in the 'lovely backwater' of King's.

他後來搬到曼徹斯特，可能也是有意識地想要遠離國王學院的誘惑。

Yet in that very determination he illustrated a problem which in the 1950s had hardly begun to emerge into consciousness: that in refusing social definition by a 'pansy' or 'aesthete' label, there lay the opposite danger of merely accentuating the accoutrements of 'masculinity'.

在這樣的決心中，體現出另一個問題，也許他自己並未意識到：爲了擺脫社會貼給男同性戀者的女性化標籤，他會過分地追求所謂的"陽剛氣"。

His running, although it spoke of a search for wholeness, for another life earned independently of being 'a brain', and for relief from the aggressive feelings induced by a lifetime of banging his head on a wall, was perhaps touched by this.

他熱衷於馬拉松，他在戰爭中成爲智力核心，他面對困難時孤注一擲，他用理性而非情感去面對一切，這些也許都是受到這種影響。

So too, perhaps, were his emotional reserve, his all-or-nothing response to difficulties, his insistence upon professional 'thinking' before off-duty 'feeling'—all influenced by a resolve not to be 'soft'. Yet soft machine he was.

他儘量不讓自己顯得"柔弱"，但他仍然很弱柔，就算他是機器，也是柔弱的機器。

The confusion and conflicts that underlay his apparently single-minded homosexual identity reflected the fact that the world did not allow a gay man to be 'ordinary' or indeed 'authentic'; to live simply, without making a fuss; to be truly personal, without taking a public stand.

圖靈對自己的同性戀身份毫不避諱，但這卻導致他更加困惑和矛盾。這個世界不允許同性戀男人正常地生活，不允許他們低調而純粹地生活，不允許他們有隱私，一定要把他們拉到大庭廣衆之下接受審判。

He, of course, was put particularly acutely on the spot. In 1938 Forster had spelt out the corollary to the claim for moral autonomy: Love and loyalty to an individual can run counter to the claims of the State.

當然，他被特別尖銳地放在現場。1938年，福斯特闡述了道德自主權主張的必然結果：對個人的愛和忠誠可能與國家的主張背道而馳。

When they do—down with the State, say I, which means that the State would down me. But Forster never had to face this consequence, no more than Keynes was ever found out.

當他們打倒國家的時候，我說，這意味着國家會打倒我。但是福斯特從來沒有面對過這樣的後果，就像凱恩斯被發現一樣。