經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第29章
Chapter 29
"Zaphod! Wake up!"
"Mmmmmwwwwwerrrrr?"
"Hey come on, wake up."
"Just let me stick to what I'm good at, yeah?" muttered Zaphod and rolled away from the voice back to sleep.
"Do you want me to kick you?" said Ford.
"Would it give you a lot of pleasure?" said Zaphod, blearily.
"No."
"Nor me. So what's the point? Stop bugging me." Zaphod curled himself up.
"He got a double dose of the gas," said Trillian looking down at him, "two windpipes."
"And stop talking," said Zaphod, "it's hard enough trying to sleep anyway. What's the matter with the ground? It's all cold and hard."
"It's gold," said Ford.
With an amazingly balletic movement Zaphod was standing and scanning the horizon, because that was how far the gold ground stretched in every direction, perfectly smooth and solid. It gleamed like ... it's impossible to say what it gleamed like because nothing in the Universe gleams in quite the same way that a planet of solid gold does.
"Who put all that there?" yelped Zaphod, goggle-eyed.
"Don't get excited," said Ford, "it's only a catalogue."
"A who?"
"A catalogue," said Trillian, "an illusion."
"How can you say that?" cried Zaphod, falling to his hands and knees and staring at the ground. He poked it and prodded it with his fingernail. It was very heavy and very slightly soft — he could mark it with his fingernail. It was very yellow and very shiny, and when he breathed on it his breath evaporated off it in that very peculiar and special way that breath evaporates off solid gold.
"Trillian and I came round a while ago," said Ford. "We shouted and yelled till somebody came and then carried on shouting and yelling till they got fed up and put us in their planet catalogue to keep us busy till they were ready to deal with us. This is all Sens-O-Tape."
第二十九章
“贊福德！醒醒l”
“呃呃呃呃呃嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯？”
“嘿，來吧，快醒醒。”
“你就讓我多幹幹我最擅長的事吧，嗯？”贊福德一邊咕噥着，一邊轉過身去，很快又進入了夢鄉。
“你想讓我踢你不成？”福特說。
“那樣做能給你很多快感嗎？”贊福德睡眼朦嚨地說。
“不。”
“我也不會。所以說你那樣做有什麼意義呢？還是別打擾我吧。”贊福德把身子蜷得更緊了。
“他吸入了雙倍的煙霧。”崔莉恩說，低頭看着他，“誰讓他有兩根氣管暱。”
“求求你們閉嘴好嗎？”贊福德說，“要睡個好覺簡直太困難了。這地面又他*的是什麼毛病？又冷又硬。”
“這是黃金。”福特說。
隨着一個令人驚歎的芭蕾舞動作，贊福德已經站了起來，開始掃視地平線，因爲這代表着這片黃金大地向各個方向延伸的距離。真的是一馬平川。它閃爍着像……其實根本不可能說清楚它閃爍着什麼樣的光芒，因爲宇宙中根本沒有任何地方會閃爍着像這樣一個完全由黃金構成的行星一樣的光芒。
“誰把這些黃金放在這兒的？”贊福德叫起來，瞪人了眼睛。
“別太興奮了。”福特說，“這只是一個商品目錄而已。”
“一個什麼？”
“一個商品目錄，”崔莉恩說，“一個幻象。”
“你們怎麼能這麼說呢？”贊福德一邊嚷道，一邊伏下身體，用手和膝蓋接觸地面，眼睛也盯着地面。他在上面又戳又刺。地面很厚實，有點兒軟——他甚至能用手指甲在上面劃出痕跡來。它泛着金黃色的光澤，當他朝上面呼氣時，呼出的氣從上面蒸發掉的情形和從真正的黃金錶面蒸發掉的獨特的情形完全一樣。
“崔莉恩和我早些時候醒過來，”福特說，“我們也興奮得大喊大叫，直到有人過來。我們接着大喊大叫，最後吵得他們心煩了，於是把我們扔進他們的商品行星目錄。”
