經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第25章1

Chapter 25
There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches? Many many millions of years ago a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings (whose physical manifestation in their own pan-dimensional universe is not dissimilar to our own) got so fed up with the constant bickering about the meaning of life which used to interrupt their favourite pastime of Brockian Ultra Cricket (a curious game which involved suddenly hitting people for no readily apparent reason and then running away) that they decided to sit down and solve their problems once and for all.
And to this end they built themselves a stupendous super computer which was so amazingly intelligent that even before the data banks had been connected up it had started from I think therefore I am and got as far as the existence of rice pudding and income tax before anyone managed to turn it off.
It was the size of a small city.
Its main console was installed in a specially designed executive office, mounted on an enormous executive desk of finest ultramahagony topped with rich ultrared leather. The dark carpeting was discreetly sumptuous, exotic pot plants and tastefully engraved prints of the principal computer programmers and their families were deployed liberally about the room, and stately windows looked out upon a tree-lined public square.
On the day of the Great On-Turning two soberly dressed programmers with brief cases arrived and were shown discreetly into the office. They were aware that this day they would represent their entire race in its greatest moment, but they conducted themselves calmly and quietly as they seated themselves deferentially before the desk, opened their brief cases and took out their leather-bound notebooks.
Their names were Lunkwill and Fook.
For a few moments they sat in respectful silence, then, after exchanging a quiet glance with Fook, Lunkwill leaned forward and touched a small black panel.
The subtlest of hums indicated that the massive computer was now in total active mode. After a pause it spoke to them in a voice rich resonant and deep.
It said: "What is this great task for which I, Deep Thought, the second greatest computer in the Universe of Time and Space have been called into existence?"
Lunkwill and Fook glanced at each other in surprise.

第二十五章
顯然，有許多問題與生命有關，其中最普遍的也許莫過於：人爲什麼會出生？爲什麼會死亡？爲什麼會在生命的人部分時間裏想要戴電了表？許多許多百萬年前，一個具有超級智慧的泛維度種族（他們在自己的泛維度宇宙中的生理特徵和在我們的宇宙中並沒有什麼不同）開始對有關生命意義的無休止的爭論感到厭煩了，這種爭論甚至影響到了他們最喜歡的消遣“壞小子極端板球”（一種奇怪的遊戲，玩法是：毫無理由突如其來地擊打他人，然後跑開），所以他們決定坐下來，一勞永逸地解決這個問題。
爲了達到這個目的，他們建造了一個巨大無比的超級電腦，它是如此驚人的聰明，在還沒有連接上數據庫以前，它就已經從“我思故我在”開始，推演出了米飯布丁以及個人所得稅的存在，直到後來有人關閉了它。
它的規模足有一座小城市那麼大。
它的主控制檯安裝在一間專門設計的操作室裏，安放在一張巨大的操作桌上，桌子是上等的紅木製成的，表面蒙着深紅色的皮革。深色的地毯顯得正式而豪華，異國情調的盆栽植物和電腦主要編程人員及其家人的照片精心地散佈在房間各處，窗戶望出去是一個綠樹成行的公共廣場。
在正式開機的那個重大日子裏，兩個身着正式禮服的程序員提着公文包來到這裏，謹慎地進入操作室。他們很清楚，在這個最重要的時刻，他們代表着整個種族。不過他們還是儘量讓自己平靜下來，鎮定地坐到操作桌面前，打開公文包，拿出他們皮質封面的筆記本。
他們的名字分別叫做朗克維爾和福克。
開始的片刻，他們沉默地正襟危坐，然後，在和福克交換了一個眼神之後，朗克維爾身體前傾，觸摸了一下一個小小的黑色儀表盤。
傳出微弱的嗡嗡聲，表明這臺巨型電腦現在已經完全進入運行狀態了。稍微停頓了一會兒，它開始用一種豐滿、洪亮、深沉的聲音說話了。
它說：“我，深思，整個宇宙一切空間和時間中第二強大的電腦，誕生的偉大任務是什麼呢？”
朗克維爾和福克驚訝地對望了一眼。