美國習慣用語 第870:give and take

咱們生活中常有這樣的人：能力強，熱心腸，點子多，可就是聽不得別人說“不”。給這種人提意見，很難被採納。因爲他們不喜歡 - give and take.

大家一定都知道give是給的意思，take則是“拿”，give and take有給有拿，引伸爲“有商有量”，妥協折衷。Those who don't appreciate give and take are not likely to listen to others. 那些不喜歡妥協折衷的人不太可能聽取別人的意見。

在下面的例子中，我們要聽一聽，在夫妻相處之道中，是不是也需要一些妥協。

It's natural for couples to argue once in a while. But whether those two people will have a long future together often depends on how well they work out their differences. Conflicts shouldn't always be about one person being right and the other wrong. There has to be a healthy give and take. Without that ability to negotiate, couples can't survive.

這段話是說: 夫妻間有時發生爭吵是很正常的。但是兩人是否能長久地一起生活下去通常取決於他們能不能調和彼此間的差異。在有衝突時，並不一定要分出誰對誰錯。倆人之間必須有健康的商量妥協。如果倆人都不肯低頭，那日子過不長久。

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很多幸福夫妻都說，過日子的祕訣是寬容對方的缺點，而不是爭辯是非對錯。英文裏有句話叫, my way or the highway! 意思就是“不按我說的做就拉倒!”，大有順我者昌逆我者亡的意味。

要是按照這個原則去經營婚姻，恐怖得一路打到離婚。

Do you negotiate with others or do you feel that give and take is a sign of weakness? 你會和別人妥協麼？還是覺得和別人商量就等於服軟？其實，遇事和他人有商有量，達成大家都喜歡的結果，對一個團隊是非常有益的。

下面這個句子就是一例，我們來聽聽:

Our labor union has few complaints with the managers of our factory. That's because everyone works pretty well together. Whenever there's a conflict, we sit down together and discuss the best way to deal with it. Each side is willing to let the other get some of what it wants. That give and take makes for a much better environment.

這段話意思是說：我們的工會從來不會收到對工廠管理人員的投訴。這是因爲大家共事得相當愉快。每次有矛盾出現時，我們都坐下討論最好的解決辦法。每一方都願意讓另外一方達到部分目的。這種凡事有商有量的方式營造了一個更優良的環境。

這種相互尊重的態度往往能帶來雙贏的結果。不是說偏聽則暗，兼信則明麼。