經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第7章 Part 9

"Well didn't you think of anything? I thought you said you were going to think of something. Perhaps you thought of something and didn't notice."
"Oh yes, I thought of something," panted Ford. Arthur looked up expectantly.
"But unfortunately," continued Ford, "it rather involved being on the other side of this airtight hatchway." He kicked the hatch they'd just been through.
"But it was a good idea was it?"
"Oh yes, very neat."
"What was it?"
"Well I hadn't worked out the details yet. Not much point now is there?"
"So ... er, what happens next?"
"Oh, er, well the hatchway in front of us will open automatically in a few Moments and we will shoot out into deep space I expect and asphyxicate. If you take a lungful of air with you you can last for up to thirty seconds of course ..." said Ford. He stuck his hands behind his back, raised his eyebrows and started to hum an old Betelgeusian battle hymn. To Arthur's eyes he suddenly looked very alien.
"So this is it," said Arthur, "we're going to die."
"Yes," said Ford, "except ... no! Wait a minute!" he suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried.
"What? Where?" cried Arthur twisting round.
"No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all."
He slumped against the wall again and carried on the tune from where he left off.
"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxication in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
"Oh." Ford carried on humming.
"This is terrific," Arthur thought to himself, "Nelson's Column has gone, McDonald's have gone, all that's left is me and the words Mostly Harmless. Any second now all that will be left is Mostly Harmless. And yesterday the planet seemed to be going so well."

“那好吧，你想到什麼法子了嗎？我記得你好像說過你會想到的。當然，也許你已經想到了些什麼，只不過我沒有注意而已。”
“哦，是的，我確實想到了一個主意。”福特喘息着說。阿瑟頓時滿臉期待地擡起頭。
“但不幸的是，”福特繼續道，“這個主意和密閉艙門另一側的那個傢伙有關。”說着他踢了艙門一腳。
“但那確實是個好主意，是嗎？”
“哦，當然，相當巧妙。”
“是什麼呢？”
“嗯，我還沒有把細節想清楚。我們剩下的時間不多了吧，是嗎？”
“那麼……嗯，接下來會發生什麼事呢？”阿瑟問。
“哦，嗯，奸吧，我們面前的艙門很快會自動打開，我們會被彈射進深邃的外太空，然後漸漸窒息。如果事先深深吸入一口氣，那麼你最多可以堅持30秒鐘，當然……”福特說。他把雙手背在背後，皺起眉頭，開始哼一首古老的參宿四的戰鬥讚美詩。在阿瑟看來，他突然間變得很陌生。
“看來事情是這樣的，”阿瑟說，“我們快死了。”
“足的，”福特說，“除非……不！等等！”他突然穿過房間朝着阿瑟背後的某個東兩衝過去，“這是什麼的開關？”他叫道。
“什麼？在哪兒？”阿瑟也跟着叫起來，迅速轉過身。
“沒什麼，我只是開個玩笑而已，”福特說，“無論如何我們都得死。”
他又癱軟地靠在牆上，從剛纔斷掉的地方接着哼起來。
“你知道嗎，”阿瑟說，“在這樣的時刻，當我被困在沃貢人的氣閘裏，和一個從參宿四來的人在—起，即將被扔進外太空窒息而死時，我真希望自己年輕時聽我母親的話。”
“爲什麼，她告訴了你些什麼？”
“我不知道，我不是沒有聽嘛。”
“哦。”福特繼續哼哼。
“真是太可怕了，”阿瑟自言自語地說，“尼爾森的專欄沒有了，麥當勞沒有了，剩下的只有我，以及這個詞條，‘基本上無害’。再過幾秒鐘，惟一剩下的就只有‘基本上無害’了。而僅僅就在昨天，這顆星球看上去還一切正常。”
這時，傳來了—陣機械的聲音。
隨着氣流涌動漸漸由微弱的嘶嘶聲變爲震耳欲聾的轟鳴，外壁艙門打開了，顯出一片空虛的黑暗，點綴着一些遙遠的微小亮點。福特和阿瑟就像從玩具槍裏射出的軟木塞一樣被拋入外太空。