經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第25章5

"Alright!" bawled Vroomfondel banging on an nearby desk. "I am Vroomfondel, and that is not a demand, that is a solid fact! What we demand is solid facts!"
"No we don't!" exclaimed Majikthise in irritation. "That is precisely what we don't demand!"
Scarcely pausing for breath, Vroomfondel shouted, "We don't demand solid facts! What we demand is a total absence of solid facts. I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel!"
"But who the devil are you?" exclaimed an outraged Fook.
"We," said Majikthise, "are Philosophers."
"Though we may not be," said Vroomfondel waving a warning finger at the programmers."Yes we are," insisted Majikthise. "We are quite definitely here as representatives of the Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and Other Thinking Persons, and we want this machine off, and we want it off now!"
"What's the problem?" said Lunkwill.
"I'll tell you what the problem is mate," said Majikthise, "demarcation, that's the problem!"
"We demand," yelled Vroomfondel, "that demarcation may or may not be the problem!"
"You just let the machines get on with the adding up," warned Majikthise, "and we'll take care of the eternal verities thank you very much. You want to check your legal position you do mate. Under law the Quest for Ultimate Truth is quite clearly the inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers. Any bloody machine goes and actually finds it and we're straight out of a job aren't we? I mean what's the use of our sitting up half the night arguing that there may or may not be a God if this machine only goes and gives us his bleeding phone number the next morning?"
"That's right!" shouted Vroomfondel, "we demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
Suddenly a stentorian voice boomed across the room.
"Might I make an observation at this point?" inquired Deep Thought.
"We'll go on strike!" yelled Vroomfondel.
"That's right!" agreed Majikthise. "You'll have a national Philosopher's strike on your hands!"
The hum level in the room suddenly increased as several ancillary bass driver units, mounted in sedately carved and varnished cabinet speakers around the room, cut in to give Deep Thought's voice a little more power.
"All I wanted to say," bellowed the computer, "is that my circuits are now irrevocably committed to calculating the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything -" he paused and satisfied himself that he now had everyone's attention, before continuing more quietly, "but the programme will take me a little while to run."
Fook glanced impatiently at his watch.
"How long?" he said.

“好吧！”盧姆方德爾罵了一聲，重重地一拳砸在身邊的一張桌子上，“我是盧姆方德爾，這不是聲明，而是純粹的事實！我們所要求的就是純粹的事實！”
“不，我們不是！”曼吉克塞斯惱怒地說，“這可不是我們所要求的！”
幾乎沒有換氣，盧姆方德爾嚷道：“我們不要求純粹的事實！我們所要求的是不要純粹的事實。我要求我可能是也可能不是盧姆方德爾！”
“見鬼了，那你到底是誰？”福克忍無町忍。
“我們，”曼吉克塞斯說，“是哲學家。”
“雖然我們也可能不是。”盧姆方德爾說，一邊朝程序員們警告似的揮舞着手指。‘“是的，我們是哲學家。”曼吉克塞斯堅持道，“我們到這兒來的目的很明確，作爲哲學家、智者、先知以及其他思想者的聯合工會的代表，我們希望關閉這臺機器，我們希望現在立即關閉它！”
“出了什麼問題呢？”朗克維爾問。
“我會告訴你出了什麼問題的，夥計。”曼吉克塞斯說，“分工，這就是問題所在！”
“我們要求，”盧姆方德爾又開始嚷嚷了，“分工可能是也可能不是問題所在！”
“你們儘管讓這些機器開着吧，”曼吉克塞斯警告說，“謝謝你們。但永恆真理歸我們負責。你們想要查詢你們的法律地位嗎，那就請便吧，夥計。根據法律，追尋終極真理很顯然是你們中間的我們這些思想者們不可剝奪的特權。要是有任何該死的機器真的找到了它，那我們豈不是直截了當地失業了，不是嗎？我的意思是，我們一直爭論到半夜到底有沒有上帝，可要是這臺機器第二天一早就把上帝該死的電話號碼給了你，我們的工作還有什麼用？”
“太對了。”盧姆方德爾叫道，“我們嚴正聲明，要求嚴格將懷疑和不確定的領域劃歸我們！”
突然間，一個洪亮的聲音在屋內響起。
“我能就這個問題說幾句嗎？”深思要求道。
“我們要組織罷工！”盧姆方德爾叫道。
“太對了！”曼吉克塞斯附和道，“你們將會引發全國性的哲學家罷工！”
房間裏的嗡嗡聲突然增大。環繞房間的幾個輔助性的低音音箱被打開了，用來增加深思的聲音的響度。
“我想說的是，”電腦咆哮着說，“我的電路現在已經無法撤銷地開始計算關於生命、宇宙和一切的終極問題的答案。”它頓了一下，對於自己現在已經成功地引起了所有人的注意感到很滿意，於是降低了音量，“但是運行這個程序將會稍微花費我一點兒時間。”
福克迫不及待地瞟了一眼他的手錶。
“需要多久？”他問。