狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第55章Part1
In the fever of his mortification and unavailing rage, the panic that had seized upon him mastered him completely. It rose to such a height that he would have blindly encountered almost any risk, rather than meet the man of whom, two hours ago, he had been utterly regardless. His fierce arrival, which he had never expected; the sound of his voice; their having been so near a meeting, face to face; he would have braved out this, after the first momentary shock of alarm, and would have put as bold a front upon his guilt as any villain. But the springing of his mine upon himself, seemed to have rent and shivered all his hardihood and self-reliance. Spurned like any reptile; entrapped and mocked; turned upon, and trodden down by the proud woman whose mind he had slowly poisoned, as he thought, until she had sunk into the mere creature of his pleasure; undeceived in his deceit, and with his fox's hide stripped off, he sneaked away, abashed, degraded, and afraid.
Some other terror came upon hIm quite removed from this of being pursued, suddenly, like an electric shock, as he was creeping through the streets Some visionary terror, unintelligible and inexplicable, asssociated with a trembling of the ground, - a rush and sweep of something through the air, like Death upon the wing. He shrunk, as if to let the thing go by. It was not gone, it never had been there, yet what a startling horror it had left behind.
He raised his wicked face so full of trouble, to the night sky, where the stars, so full of peace, were shining on him as they had been when he first stole out into the air; and stopped to think what he should do. The dread of being hunted in a strange remote place, where the laws might not protect him - the novelty of the feeling that it was strange and remote, originating in his being left alone so suddenly amid the ruins of his plans - his greater dread of seeking refuge now, in Italy or in Sicily, where men might be hired to assissinate him, he thought, at any dark street corner-the waywardness of guilt and fear - perhaps some sympathy of action with the turning back of all his schemes - impelled him to turn back too, and go to England.
'I am safer there, in any case. If I should not decide,' he thought, 'to give this fool a meeting, I am less likely to be traced there, than abroad here, now. And if I should (this cursed fit being over), at least I shall not be alone, with out a soul to speak to, or advise with, or stand by me. I shall not be run in upon and worried like a rat.'
He muttered Edith's name, and clenched his hand. As he crept along, in the shadow of the massive buildings, he set his teeth, and muttered dreadful imprecations on her head, and looked from side to side, as if in search of her. Thus, he stole on to the gate of an inn-yard. The people were a-bed; but his ringing at the bell soon produced a man with a lantern, in company with whom he was presently in a dim coach-house, bargaining for the hire of an old phaeton, to Paris.
The bargain was a short one; and the horses were soon sent for. Leaving word that the carriage was to follow him when they came, he stole away again, beyond the town, past the old ramparts, out on the open road, which seemed to glide away along the dark plain, like a stream.
Whither did it flow? What was the end of it? As he paused, with some such suggestion within him, looking over the gloomy flat where the slender trees marked out the way, again that flight of Death came rushing up, again went on, impetuous and resistless, again was nothing but a horror in his mind, dark as the scene and undefined as its remotest verge.
There was no wind; there was no passing shadow on the deep shade of the night; there was no noise. The city lay behind hIm, lighted here and there, and starry worlds were hidden by the masonry of spire and roof that hardly made out any shapes against the sky. Dark and lonely distance lay around him everywhere, and the clocks were faintly striking two.
He went forward for what appeared a long time, and a long way; often stopping to listen. At last the ringing of horses' bells greeted his anxious ears. Now softer, and now louder, now inaudible, now ringing very slowly over bad ground, now brisk and merry, it came on; until with a loud shouting and lashing, a shadowy postillion muffled to the eyes, checked his four struggling horses at his side.
'Who goes there! Monsieur?'
'Yes.'
在院子臨街的那邊有一道鐵的大門，看門人讓旁邊的小門開着，他已經走開，無疑是混在遠處大樓梯門邊發出嘈雜的人羣當中了。卡克輕輕地提起門閂，悄悄地溜到外面，並把後面嘎吱作響的門關上，儘可能不讓它發出大聲，然後急急忙忙離開了。
他覺得自己遭到屈辱，心中懷着無益的憤怒；在這種狂熱的情緒中，他心頭的恐慌完全主宰了他。它已達到了這樣的程度：他寧肯盲目地遇到任何危險，也不願意碰上他在兩小時以前毫不注意的那個人。他完全沒有料想到他會突然氣勢洶洶地來到；他聽到了他說話的；他們剛纔幾乎就面對面相遇，這些情況使卡克在第一分鐘內驚慌得頭昏眼花，但他不久就能硬着頭皮，沉着冷靜地把它們頂住，像任何無賴一樣厚顏無恥地對待自己犯下的罪行。然而他埋設的地雷竟在自己身上炸開，這一點似乎已破壞和動搖了他全部的剛毅與自信。那位高傲的女人，他原以爲他已慢慢地毒害了她的思想，直到她已淪落爲他尋歡作樂的工具；可是她卻把他像爬蟲似地踢在一旁，讓他陷入圈套，並嘲弄他，責罵他，把他踩得粉碎；他想要欺騙別人，別人沒有上當，自己反倒受了騙；他的狐狸皮已經被剝掉了；如今他又羞愧，又受到屈辱，又害怕地偷偷溜走了。
當他正躡手躡腳地穿過街道的時候，與這被人追趕的恐怖絕不相同的另一種恐怖突然像一道電流一樣襲擊着他。這是某種莫名其妙的、無法解釋的幻想的恐怖，它使人聯想起土地的顫抖--某種東西像死神展開翅膀飛行一樣，向前猛衝過去，飛快地吹刮過去。他蜷縮着身子，彷彿要給那個東西讓開道路似的，但它並沒有過去，因爲它從來就不在那裏，可是它卻留下了多麼令人吃驚的恐怖啊！
他擡起他的邪惡的、充滿憂慮的臉，仰望着夜空；夜空中十分寧靜的星星就像他起初偷偷地走到外面的時候一樣，正照耀着他。他停下腳步，想一下他現在該做什麼。他害怕在一個陌生的、遙遠的地方被人追趕，這裏的法律可能是不會保護他的；--他新奇地感覺到，這個城市是個陌生的、遙遠的地方；這個感覺是在他的計劃遭到失敗之後，他突然間成了孤獨一人的情況下產生的；--他現在更害怕到意大利或西西里去避難；他想，被僱用的兇手可能會在那裏一個黑暗的街道拐角裏暗殺他；--由於罪過與恐懼，使他產生出反覆無常的思想；--也許是由於他所有的計劃全都遭到失敗，因此他就有某種不想按原先意圖行事的相應的心理；--所有這些都驅策他回到英國去。
“無論如何，我在英國要安全一些。”他想，”如果我決意不跟這個瘋子見面的話，那麼在英國尋找到我要比在這他鄉異國尋找到我難得多。如果我決定跟他見面（當他這陣可惡的瘋狂症過去以後）的話，那麼至少我將不會像現在這樣孤獨一人，沒有一個人我可以與他交談、商量或他來幫助我。我將不會像一隻耗子一樣地被追逐和折磨。”
他抱怨地說到伊迪絲的名字，同時緊握着拳頭。當他在高大的房屋的陰影下偷偷地向前走去的時候，他咬牙切齒，向她發出了最可怕的詛咒，同時左顧右盼，彷彿在尋找她似的。他就這樣悄悄地走到一個客棧院子的門前。客棧裏的人都已睡覺了。但是他拉了一下鈴，立刻就有一個人提着燈籠出來，他們很快就一起到了一個馬車房前，租一輛舊的二馬四輪輕便馬車前往巴黎的事情商議着價錢。
價錢很快就商議定了，立刻派人去把馬拉來。他吩咐馬來了以後就讓馬車跟隨着他來，然後又悄悄離開，走出城外，經過古老的堡壘，一直走到大路上；這條大路似乎像一條溪流一樣，在黑暗的平原上流動。
它流到哪裏去？哪裏是它的盡頭？他心裏想着這些事情，停住腳步，望着陰暗的平野和由細長的樹木顯示出的道路；這時候死神又展開翅膀，迅疾地飛來，然後又猛烈地、不可抗拒地飛過去，除了在他的心中留下恐怖外，又沒有留下什麼別的。那恐怖就像周圍的風景一樣黑暗，並像它的最遙遠的邊緣一樣朦朧不清。
沒有風；在深沉的夜色中沒有閃過一個陰影；沒有喧鬧的。城市靜躺在他的後面，在這裏那裏閃爍着燈光；尖塔與屋頂矗立在天空中，幾乎顯露不出形狀，並遮擋着星星的世界。在他四周是茫茫一片黑暗與荒涼的地方；鍾輕輕地敲了兩下。
他覺得他已走了好久，並走過了長長的一段路程，他在中間時常停下來聽一聽。終於馬的鈴鐺聲傳到了他的焦急的耳朵中。鈴鐺的有時輕一些，有時響一些，有時聽不見，有時在經過壞的道路時斷斷續續，有時則活潑、輕快；最後，愈來愈近，一位身影模糊、圍巾一直圍到眼睛下面、騎在左馬上的馬伕響亮地吆喝了一聲和劈啪地抽了一下鞭子，把四匹奮力前進的馬拉住，停在他的身邊。
“那裏走的是誰，是Monsieur嗎？”
“是的。”
