狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第55章Part5

Of receding from the coast, and looking back upon it from the deck when it was a haze upon the water, with here and there a little opening of bright land where the Sun struck. Of the swell, and flash, and murmur of the calm sea. Of another grey line on the ocean, on the vessel's track, fast growing clearer and higher. Of cliffs and buildings, and a windmill, and a church, becoming more and more visible upon it. Of steaming on at last into smooth water, and mooring to a pier whence groups of people looked down, greeting friends on board. Of disembarking, passing among them quickly, shunning every one; and of being at last again in England.
He had thought, in his dream, of going down into a remote country-place he knew, and lying quiet there, while he secretly informed himself of what transpired, and determined how to act, Still in the same stunned condition, he remembered a certain station on the railway, where he would have to branch off to his place of destination, and where there was a quiet Inn. Here, he indistinctly resolved to tarry and rest.
With this purpose he slunk into a railway carriage as quickly as he could, and lying there wrapped in his cloak as if he were asleep, was soon borne far away from the sea, and deep into the inland green. Arrived at his destination he looked out, and surveyed it carefully. He was not mistaken in his impression of the place. It was a retired spot, on the borders of a little wood. Only one house, newly-built or altered for the purpose, stood there, surrounded by its neat garden; the small town that was nearest, was some miles away. Here he alighted then; and going straight into the tavern, unobserved by anyone, secured two rooms upstairs communicating with each other, and sufficiently retired.
His object was to rest, and recover the command of himself, and the balance of his mind. Imbecile discomfiture and rage - so that, as he walked about his room, he ground his teeth - had complete possession of him. His thoughts, not to be stopped or directed, still wandered where they would, and dragged him after them. He was stupefied, and he was wearied to death.
But, as if there were a curse upon him that he should never rest again, his drowsy senses would not lose their consciousness. He had no more influence with them, in this regard, than if they had been another man's. It was not that they forced him to take note of present sounds and objects, but that they would not be diverted from the whole hurried vision of his journey. It was constantly before him all at once. She stood there, with her dark disdainful eyes again upon him; and he was riding on nevertheless, through town and country, light and darkness, wet weather and dry, over road and pavement, hill and valley, height and hollow, jaded and scared by the monotony of bells and wheels, and horses' feet, and no rest.
'What day is this?' he asked of the waiter, who was making preparations for his dinner.
'Day, Sir?'
'Is it Wednesday?'
'Wednesday, Sir? No, Sir. Thursday, Sir.'
'I forgot. How goes the time? My watch is unwound.'
'Wants a few minutes of five o'clock, Sir. Been travelling a long time, Sir, perhaps?'
'Yes'
'By rail, Sir?'
'Yes'
'Very confusing, Sir. Not much in the habit of travelling by rail myself, Sir, but gentlemen frequently say so.'
'Do many gentlemen come here?
'Pretty well, Sir, in general. Nobody here at present. Rather slack just now, Sir. Everything is slack, Sir.'

在這個夢幻中，船離開了海岸，從甲板上往回看，水面上煙霧朦朧。陽光穿過的地方，這裏那裏露出了一點明亮的陸地。在這個夢幻中，平靜的海漲起了波浪，閃耀着水花，發出了喃喃的低語。在船舶經過的航線上，海洋上出現了另一條灰色的線條，迅速地變得更明亮和更高。在這個夢幻中，他看到了一座座懸崖、一間間房屋、一個風車、一座教堂，愈來愈分明。船終於進入了一個平靜的水面，停泊在一個碼頭旁邊；碼頭上一羣羣的人在往下看，並向船上的朋友們問候致意。他上了岸，迅速地從他們中間穿過，躲開每一個人，終於又到了英國了。
他在夢幻中曾經想到一個他所知道的遙遠的鄉村中去，在那裏隱居下來，然後悄悄地打聽流傳的消息，再決定怎樣行動。仍然是在同樣頭暈目眩的狀態中，他曾記起一個火車站，他必須從那裏沿一條鐵路支線前往他的目的地；在火車站附近還有一個僻靜的小旅館，他不十分明確地打算到那裏去停留和休息。
他懷着這個目的，儘快地偷偷溜進了一個火車車廂，用斗篷裹着在那裏躺下，彷彿睡着了似的。火車很快就把他拉到離海遠遠的綠色的內地了。到達目的地之後，他從車廂窗子裏往外看，仔細地觀察着車站外面。他對這個地方的印象沒有錯。這是在一個小樹林邊上的一個隱蔽的地方。那裏只有一間房屋，是特地爲車站新建或改建起來的，房屋四周有一個整潔的花園；離這裏最近的小城鎮是在幾英里之外。於是他在這裏下了車，沒有被任何人注意到，就直接到了那個小旅館裏，在那裏要了樓上兩個位置相當隱蔽、並且是相通的房間。
他的目的是休息，恢復自制力和穩定情緒。遭受失敗之後茫然失措的情緒和憤怒的情緒完全支配着他，因此，他在房間裏走來走去的時候，咬牙切齒。他不能制止或指引他的思想，他的思想依舊隨意轉來轉去，並拖着他跑。他精神恍惚，疲乏得要死。
可是，彷彿他遭到了不幸，永遠也不能再休息了，他感到昏昏欲睡，但並沒有失去知覺。他對他的感覺絲毫沒有辦法，彷彿它們是屬於另一個人似的。它們不僅強迫他注意現在的與事物，而且還不讓他從旅途中所有匆匆忙忙的夢幻中解脫出來。這些夢幻不斷地涌集在他的面前。她站在那裏，用她烏黑的、輕蔑的眼光注視着他；他仍然坐在馬車裏，通過城鎮與鄉村，通過亮光與黑暗，通過雨天與晴天，通過道路與鋪石路，通過丘陵與河谷，往前行進，單調的鈴鐺聲、車輪聲和馬蹄聲使他疲倦、恐慌，得不到休息。
“今天是星期幾？”他問正在準備給他開晚飯的侍者。
“您是問星期幾嗎，先生？”
“是星期三嗎？”
“星期三，先生？不，先生，星期四了，先生。”
“我忘了。現在什麼時間？我的表沒有上弦。”
“差幾分就五點了，先生。您也許旅行了好久了吧，先生？”
“是的。”
“乘火車來的嗎，先生？”
“是的。”
“很疲勞的，先生。我自己乘火車不多，先生，但是到這裏的先生們常常這麼說。”
“有很多先生到這裏來嗎？”
“總的來說是相當多的。可是現在沒有人來。現在生意清淡，先生。現在不論什麼行業都生意清淡。”