第一次約會最該避免的10個錯誤

I was thinking about some of the common errors made on first dates. I came up with 10 common mistakes that could kill the chances for a second date:

我曾想過一些首次約會時會犯的常見錯誤。這裏總結出10個，別讓它們毀了你的第二次約會。

　　Arriving Late 遲到

Even five minutes of lateness is inexcusable on the first date. People are already anxious on these excursions, so making someone wait and think more about everything is pretty rude。

在第一次約會時，即使是5分鐘也不能遲到。別人已經處於一個焦急與緊張的狀態，還讓對方等待、增加各種擔心，這樣實在太沒禮貌了。

　　Wardrobe Malfunction 着裝不當

Make sure you cater what you wear to what you're doing. I try not to make a girl walk too much if she's in heels. Also, I've seen girls wear pearls and a nice blouse to trashy outdoor drinking events, or heels to sporting events。

確保你的着裝與你所參加的場合相符。我儘量不讓女孩們穿着高跟鞋走路太多。同樣的失敗案例：有些女孩戴着珠寶，穿着精緻的服裝在髒亂的大街上喝東西，或者穿着高跟鞋參加體育活動。

　Talking Politics or Religion 談論政治或宗教

Staying away from debatable content is a good idea the first time out. It's fun to argue with your significant other, but I think it's important to reach a comfort level first. If you try to proselytize someone, or battle them over a hot topic like abortion, you may reach a point of no return。

第一次出去時最好遠離爭議性的內容。雖然與對方爭論不會讓場面無趣，但我想最重要的一點是，千萬不要過火。如果你試圖讓對方改變信仰，或者在一些墮胎這樣的敏感問題上說服對方，那你以後想要改變觀點也不行了。

　Checking Out Other People 打量其他人

You'd think that no one would do this, but guys are always looking at waitresses, or other patrons when out. My one friend got in hot water because his date told me he made cat calls at other girls while on a date。

你是否以爲不會有人這麼做？ 但是男人們總喜歡打量女服務員或其他什麼人。我的一位朋友有一次約會後之所以以失敗收場，就因爲他對別的女孩嘲諷了一下。

　　Bringing Friends (Non Group Date) 帶上其他朋友(這可不是聚會哦)

If you bring friends along you look immature and insecure. You also throw the other person for a loop if they were expecting the date to be one-on-one. Make sure you establish that it is a one-on-one date, and follow the rules and show up alone。

如果你帶上了其他朋友，這就是不成熟和沒有安全感的表現。如果他們原以爲這個是兩人約會，另一個人難免會覺得尷尬。確保你發起的是一個一對一的約會，遵守這項規則，獨自出行。

　　Getting Too Drunk 過量飲酒

Some people turn into a completely different person when they are drunk. Let the other person learn about you while you're sober, before you get wasted with them. Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly, but if a drink or two takes the edge off, and wine adds romance it's fine. Just don't push it too far。

有些人在喝醉了的時候會完全變成了另一個人。趁你沒醉沒吐的時候，就向對方坦白你是個怎樣的人吧，酒精應該在彼此關係發展到一定階段再發揮作用，但如果只是淺嘗輒止，或者增加一點浪漫氣氛，這是沒問題的，不要過量就好。

Being Too Aggressive 太過主動

No one wants to deal with someone's wandering hands before they are ready. It is one of the best ways to creep someone out. Just because someone is getting dinner with someone once doesn't mean it's an invitation into the sack. It's best to be hands off on the first date。

沒有人希望在還沒做好準備時就牽手。這是代表一個拒絕別人的好方法，因爲別人只是想和你吃個飯，而不是邀請你進入情網。所以，第一次約會時最好還是不要牽手。

Being Too Unaggressive 太過被動

My friend Margaret warns me to be more aggressive all the time. She said that if I don't kiss someone at the end of a date, or make a move when they hop in my bed they will begin to think something's wrong with them, or that I'm not into them. Maybe that's true, but sometimes I am just being too safe so that I don't break the rule I just mentioned above。

我的朋友瑪格麗特時時告誡我要主動些。她說如果我在約會結束後還不吻對方，或者他們的屁股已經坐到了我的牀上時還不做出點表示，對方肯定會以爲自己做錯了什麼，或者我根本不在乎他。也許這是對的，但有時我只是不想爲了過分保護自己而違反了上面所提到的規則。

　Canceling at the Last Minute 在最後時刻取消約會

Canceling for a legitimate reason is fine, but respect your date's time so that they can plan their night without you. Canceling one hour before a date is not cool--most of the date prep has already started at this point。

有正當的理由取消約會當然沒什麼，但請尊重你的約會時間，以致他們可以把你排除在晚上的計劃之外。在臨約會前一個小時取消並不酷，大部分的約會已經在這個時間準備好了。

　　Dominant Speaker 話語狂

Try to breathe in between sentences, and don't talk too much. Give your date a chance to talk. Aren't you trying to get to know one another? And don't speak for that other person (i.e order for them at dinner) unless they invite you to help with their order。

嘗試下在每個句子之間調整下呼吸，不要說得太多。讓你的約會變成對話，難道你不想更瞭解對方嗎？也不要幫對方說話(如當點餐時)，除非他們邀請你幫他們點餐。

Do you agree or disagree with any of these? Ever have these happen to you, or have you ever made these mistakes? Would you go on a second date after any of these mistakes? What would you add to this list?

你是否同意以上觀點？你是否碰巧遇上了這樣的人，或者你曾經犯過這些錯誤？你認爲犯了這些錯誤後還能有第二次的約會嗎？你認爲還有什麼需要補充的內容嗎？